Hail Halloween!

To me Halloween has got to be the most funnest holiday ever. You fucken get to dress up anything you to be. I heard over the radio that the most popular custom this year is going to be Zombiees! YES! I love Zombiees, if you haven't noticed... lol. Something about an undead human fascinates me. They are neither dead nor alive. Well if you want to get technically this is how it is, a human dies then its body becomes undead, by undead meaning its alive in the sense that its walking around (like a living corpse). Which allows arises more questions about Vampires. Vampires are also undead...yet they aren't rotting corpse. Both undead but huge differences in appearance and mannerism. This year for Halloween I'm going to dress up as Sock Monkey and also Fio from Metal Slug. Why two costumes you may wonder? I feel extra festive. I'm also planning on attending a co-workers little get together Halloween party, which should be fun and cute. And we can't forget trick or treating ! Oh some people may think "Vanessa that is childish, your too old to be doing that." my response? I will always be a kid at heart and your never too old to have fun! Well unless your like bed ridden or like dying of a terrible disease, but lets leave that technical shit out. HA I bet dentists love Halloween and not I'm not speaking in a sarcastic tone, they love it because they make hella more profits around that time. People are eating hella candy! Candy equals cavities which equals more customers coming to see the dentist ! Oh sure they want you to think that they care about your teeth, but what they really want is for you to come back and see them for your next check up ;)

Halloween is also the season of scaring the shit out of people! Which what could be funner than that? Okay, don't answer that question cause I can name lots of other stuff, but you get it right? How funny is it to see their horror looking faces as you jump out of the dark closet to scare them shitless???

I've always loved reading horror and watching horror movies. I would have to say the number one movie that scared the scream out of me was Paranormal Activity. Mind you this is the first one, not the stupid sequels ones which aren't that scary compared to the first one. If you haven't seen this movie I triple dog dare you to watch it. I hate it when people sit down to watch a good horror movie and they either close their eyes or hide through their hands, so lame!

SOCK MONKEY!!!! Hopefully I will be able to buy this costume soon!

FIO !!! She's a game character from METAL SLUG games! This costume will take some time to pull off, but if I don't finish it before Halloween it will defiantly be ready for when Brandon and I go to Anime or video game conventions. Happy Halloween !!!!

'Tis now the very witching time of night, When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out Contagion to this world. - William Shakespeare. 

Trip to Thoughts

I've been thinking that most of my life is spent in front of my computer screen. I wake up stare at my cell phone for the time , get up for work then come back to my computer to watch stuff on Netflix, check my facebook games, play some xbox 360 on my other flat screen tv. It's normal to me and to pretty much everyone else that's in my generation. I would have to say if the house was on fire and I was able to take with me three items from my room it would be my computer, my tv, and my xbox 360. All of which are electronics, which I know they can be replaced in a heart beat, but what about all our data on those devices? Pictures, documents, saved game files, etc etc. ugh it would be horrible to lose all of that.
I was talking to my parents the other day how they were saying when they were growing up they didn't spend time in front of a computer screen or going on the internet like now. Well, obviously because they didn't grow up with all that stuff because it didn't really exist. Which is why I find it hard to relate to some of their advice and stories. It gets even worse with my grandparents on my dad's and mom's side. On my mom's side my grandmother is senile and doesn't even know who I am or who others are. She also only speaks Spanish which makes it even more impossible to have a conversation with her. So I don't even try to have a relationship with her.
On my dad's side I have papa Demetrio and mama Luz and even my great grandmother mama Lucita. Which they are sweet grandparents however again they only speak Spanish. I mean yeah I understand 90 % of Spanish language, but I don't speak it that often. I heard the whole blah blah blah story of my grandparents moving from mexico to america to start a new life, its nothing new pretty much every other Mexican has the exact same story. In other words I didn't find anything unique or special about it, even though I tried hard to find something. Because I can't relate to my grandparents I don't make an effort to go visit them or start a conversation. Why? Because there is nothing to talk about. I can't sit their and ask if they want to go play magic cards with me! I can't ask "Hey did you check out that funny youtube video about whatever?" I can't even ask what's your favorite movie, because they never grew up with tv or movies!

Now that the holiday's are around the corner I am actually dreading going to the family gatherings. Not because I don't like the people their, I love my family very much, but because I always end up bored. Bored out of my mind! Their's you know the grown up talks about "Oh how's school going? or Hows it going with your art?"  or "I heard you got a new job?" could the questions get any more automatic and boring? I might as well send a paragraph summarizing my list of stuff I did in the past year. It's I guess what one would label small talk or  polite talk. I'd rather just not have to deal with all of that. I'm 24 years old and I still feel like a kid at those gatherings. Last Christmas it was held at Jason's house which was okay, it was a little cramp in their since lol our family is pretty big. The only good thing about it was the food, other than that our family gatherings tend to be a real snooze. My dad always insisting on doing sing a longs to songs that are COMPLETELY OUTDATED that are in Spanish which only like 1 % of my family knows. And then theirs that whole bit of holding hands in a circle and praying before we eat, which is also super duper boring. I don't even believe in God and yet I'm socially forced to sit their quietly holding hands and pretending to pray. So fuck it who knows? Maybe this year I will ditch the boring party and play computer games or watch tv or do something that is fun and entertaining. If people get mad at me not showing up oh well that's their problem because everyone is in control of themselves, others can't control me. My little sister last year didn't come to the Christmas party and now I think I will probably do that same. If my family members are reading this don't take it personally, because as of right now I'm so sick of tradition when it comes to Christmas gatherings.

Have to think of outside the box, and by that meaning I just wish it was different. Like an epic Christmas. That picture is how awesome it would be to just be carefree.  But you know since I don't believe in God then theirs no point in celebrating Christmas cause its a christian/catholic belief holiday. I just went by default cause my parents took me as a kid and now that I'm older maybe now I can start deciding for myself if I would like to attend or not. Good thing we live in America and not in some totalitarian country where your'e forced into doing something you don't believe in or don't like doing.
Anyways, that's it on this blog ! :)

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Dave Barry 

David Bowie ?!?!?

The other day for some strange reason I decided I wanted to know the historical importance that David Bowie had on the history of music. I must admit I actually had no knowledge of him til a couple of years ago. I first got introduced to him in an episode of Venture Bros. and when I saw the movie the Jim Hensons Labyrinth. Soon after I started wondering who the heck was this dude. This sparked my curiosity to listen to what kind of artist he was.
The documentary I saw was very informative. It started with his childhood. How in 1947 he was born. He also had an older brother his name was Terry. I think thats how you spell it. Anyways his brother joined the army and they both were very close. I wont bore you with all the details but the ones that I found most interesting was that schizophrenia ran in his family. His mother had it and later on in David's life his brother Terry started showing signs of having it. He would get into violent rages they soon had to admit him to an institution for the rest of his life. While David Bowie was making it big rising to stardom in the united kingdoms and in America he received word that his brother had attempted to commit suicide, he had jumped off the third story and was still alive but injured.  David rushed to his brother to pay him a visit. But shortly after Terry had tried again and had succeeded.

Another interesting random info is that David Bowie and John Lennon were good friends. It was John Lennon that gave David sound advice to take legal action against his corrupted agent. This agent was actually making David broke, here he was super famous and a broke musician!

This last bit of random info actually had to do with his eyes. If you look closely at his eyes they aren't the same. Well what happened was that when he was in high school he and his friend both liked this same girl. They had gotten into a fight over her and his friend and seriously punched him hard in the face. They had to rush David to the hospital to perform eye surgery. They had managed to save his eye so he did not lose his sight but the pupils of his eyes are reversed. Meaning one is normal looking but the other one that got damaged his eye is mostly black. Hard to explain in words but you will see if you look it up.

Woot. Thats it for today. Over and out.

“I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human. I felt very puny as a human. I thought, "Fuck that. I want to be a superhuman.”
― David Bowie

Tribute to Left 4 Dead

All I can say is that all my life I've been playing video games and computer games. I am a gamer <3 . A shout out to all my other friends who are gamers as well. :)  Since I was 5 years old I started playing Nintendo got hooked on big time on Super Mario, I mean who wouldn't? It's a classic. I then started exploring a FPS such as Doom the very first one that started out on a PC. In middle school I got addicted big time to The Sims and Sid Miers Civilization games. To this present day the list is freaken long. I will spare you all the games that I've evered played. But as of right now the games that I've been playing lately are Left 4 Dead (FPS), Forsake World (MMORPG). I did recently beat Portal 2 and currently in the middle of beating Portal and Dragon Age Origins. If you want to know what games I like just check my facebook info it has all the games on their. Games that I'm waiting for big time to come out is Skyrim!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mass Effect 3!!!! Star Wars: The Old Republic MMORPG !!!!!!!!

Alright now that I got that out of my system. A tribute to Left 4 Dead. This game came out a couple years ago for the PC. (Oh btw having a steam account makes life so much easier for gamers to manage all these games.) This game instantly drew me in, come on! You get to kill zombies! This is an insane amount of fun here. Their are four characters Francis, Louis, Bill and Zoey. They all awesome characters but of course my favorite one is Zoey. This character was actually based off of another game called Dream Fall that came out on the x box a long time ago. In the game Dream Fall the character is Zoey a girl who is trying to figure out what her purpose is.

"Guys! Big, badass, nasty weapons over here!"

―Zoey

You can choose to be any of these characters. And now we come to the weapons. You can pick from the hunting rifle, pump shotgun, auto shotgun, Uzi SMG, M16, the pistols (infinite ammo on that one) its just your default weapon when you run out of the good amo for you better gun.  Also you can carry an additional throw weapon such as Pipe Bomb, Molotov cocktail. Basically the plot of this co-op shooter game is to survive from the zombies. Here is a nice intro I found on the characters:
"Pennsylvania suffers from an outbreak of "Green Flu"; a highly contagious virus causing extreme aggression and loss of higher brain functions. Two weeks after the infection, four immune survivors; Bill, a Vietnam veteran; Zoey, a student; Louis, an IT Analyst and Francis, a biker, make their way through the city of Fairfield, only to discover that the virus is creating more dangerous mutations."

You get the sense that these four people came from different walks of life joined together for a better chance at surviving. A funny thing you should know about Francis is that he hates everything. Here are a couple of examples :

"I hate lawyers. When are they gonna get done practicing law?" "I hate zombies." "I hate smokers." "I hate boomers." "I hate hunters." " I hate tanks." "I hate witches." "I hate witches, and this dead thing." "I hate sewers." "I hate hospitals." "I hate stairs." "I hate flying." "I hate the latest issues." "I hate birds." "I hate walking."  "I hate elevators. I hate helicopters. And doctors and lawyers and cops..." "I hate steam...pipes. Oh yeah. I love steam. I just hate the pipes." - Francis
Then Bill asks, "Is their anything you don't hate?"
Then Francis reply's, "You know what I don't hate? I don't hate vests."

I think Francis and Zoey might like each other even though they wont admit it openly. They do flirt even in the face of all this danger. As shown here:
"Funny, sexy, brunette zombie killer wanted to lead three helpless men to safety."- Francis 
"Hey Francis. Guywhoopensthetraindoorsayswhat?"- Zoey
"I'd kiss you...if you didn't smell like that."- Zoey

Well, thats it for Left 4 dead the characters as you can see were well developed. I also have Left 4 Dead 2 but, the first one is still my favorite mainly because the characters are awesome. Over and out.

"I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone."- Tommy Copper

 

 

Ever feel like everything and nothing?

You ever get this sudden urge to just beat the crap out of some people you meet randomly? I do. I have mood swings like any other person. I can snap in a matter of seconds, just like a shark lashing out violently. I'm the master at pouting and throwing a temper tantrum when things don't go my way. I can be extremely argumentative and wont back down once I set my mind. I can be pretty judgmental towards others and not give a fuck on what they think or any one else thinks. For the most part I don't show this ugly side towards my friends or acquaintances. I'm actually the opposite when I'm in my normal state of being. By normal state of being meaning when nothing provokes or triggers me.

Sometimes something triggers me and that's when my state of being turns into a fuck you all I don't give a shit. How does this feel? There's this perverse sense of just wanting to well destroy. Destroy what? Who knows, your hopes or your good vibes basically anything good that I instantly find annoying. Some people may be thinking wow this sounds crazy. Hey guess what? I was crazy once, they put me in room, a room full of rats. Rats? I hate rats they drive me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once, they put me in a room, a room full of rats. Rats? I hate rats they drive me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once, they put me in a room, a room full of rats. Rats? I hate rats they drive me crazy.

And for the record, no I don't hate rats. I love rats. I'm a proud pet rat owner. So all you rat haters can go fuck off, cause you know what? Rats aren't gross or disgusting. They are smart and will lick you just like dogs do. They chitter chatter and snuggle up. So let me see here, that's probably one thing that triggers me, people that don't have respect for animals. People who abuse animals, should be sentence to death. Harsh? I don't think so. Is it fair? No, but then again life isn't fair. If life was fair then we would all be living in a utopia.

Hmmm do I think a utopia is possible? Sure why not, anything is possible! Of course if anything is possible then we can assume that their must be something that is impossible. Cause that in itself would be possible, get it? So where did we end up? Everywhere and nowhere. What did we learn? Everything and nothing. Oh my how fun it is to run around in circles chasing our reasoning to no end in sight! So back to the question of wow vanessa is crazy. Aren't we all crazy now? Thats it. We are all sane and insane together.


"It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not."
— André Gide

Say what now?

Here is my lame ass attempt to write a blog. Though I don't really know what that word actually means. Blog.... bloggg..... reminds me of a log....any ways its a strange word. Writing isn't really my strong suite, though I've always loved writing rpg's with Brandon. That is probably the one thing that I can get pretty obsessive about, which drives him crazy lol.

I used to keep a normal dairy when I was a kid, it had a lock on it and small pair of silver keys, I used to write in it daily. You know the usual girl crap that little girls write about. Crushes, epic events that I thought were important and also people I didn't like. Looking back now, it just all seems pointless. It pointless because none of that amounted to anything, but trivial recollections of my child hood memories. So I guess my next question would be are any of my childhood memories important? Well yes and no. No because what the hell am I going to use recalling who was my best friend in 2nd grade is? Yes, because its nice to remember my first crush I felt. That strange new feeling of say what now? Wait! Since when did i start liking boys??! You know, that new sweep of emotions you get when you are attracted to someone and you can't really think straight? Thats called having a crush. For me, that happened in 7th grade of middle school. Those were I have to say the awkward years growing up.

Picture this. A girl with black glasses and silly hair running with a heavy backpack full of text books. Which made you feel you were carrying heavy ass bricks all day. And you can probably guess what happens next.  Amidst other flimsy students rushing, my zipper unfolds and all of my books and binder papers spill all on the concrete floor. I still remember that day it was super sunny outside so I had to squint to see the blinding white papers. So there I was scrambling to pick everything that was on the floor all the while my face turning beet red, and then it happened. My crush stopped next to me to help me pick up my stuff. To be perfectly honest I was surprised that he noticed or rather tried to help me out. Being the dork I was, all I could do was nervously laugh at myself and say thank you.

I've had other moments with him throughout my schooling. But this moment in particular I couldn't forget his kindness. Is this childhood memory pointless? Like I said before Yes and no. Yes, because its just a silly girls crush that didn't' amount to anything. And yet, no because those small moments is what makes life fun. Makes living interesting, after all those first moments of experiencing your first kiss or your first time driving or your first time making a team or your first time giving a school speech etc. those moments are essentially you experiencing life.

Awkward is a funny feeling. Feeling funny is awkward. Over and out.