Say what now?

Here is my lame ass attempt to write a blog. Though I don't really know what that word actually means. Blog.... bloggg..... reminds me of a log....any ways its a strange word. Writing isn't really my strong suite, though I've always loved writing rpg's with Brandon. That is probably the one thing that I can get pretty obsessive about, which drives him crazy lol.

I used to keep a normal dairy when I was a kid, it had a lock on it and small pair of silver keys, I used to write in it daily. You know the usual girl crap that little girls write about. Crushes, epic events that I thought were important and also people I didn't like. Looking back now, it just all seems pointless. It pointless because none of that amounted to anything, but trivial recollections of my child hood memories. So I guess my next question would be are any of my childhood memories important? Well yes and no. No because what the hell am I going to use recalling who was my best friend in 2nd grade is? Yes, because its nice to remember my first crush I felt. That strange new feeling of say what now? Wait! Since when did i start liking boys??! You know, that new sweep of emotions you get when you are attracted to someone and you can't really think straight? Thats called having a crush. For me, that happened in 7th grade of middle school. Those were I have to say the awkward years growing up.

Picture this. A girl with black glasses and silly hair running with a heavy backpack full of text books. Which made you feel you were carrying heavy ass bricks all day. And you can probably guess what happens next.  Amidst other flimsy students rushing, my zipper unfolds and all of my books and binder papers spill all on the concrete floor. I still remember that day it was super sunny outside so I had to squint to see the blinding white papers. So there I was scrambling to pick everything that was on the floor all the while my face turning beet red, and then it happened. My crush stopped next to me to help me pick up my stuff. To be perfectly honest I was surprised that he noticed or rather tried to help me out. Being the dork I was, all I could do was nervously laugh at myself and say thank you.

I've had other moments with him throughout my schooling. But this moment in particular I couldn't forget his kindness. Is this childhood memory pointless? Like I said before Yes and no. Yes, because its just a silly girls crush that didn't' amount to anything. And yet, no because those small moments is what makes life fun. Makes living interesting, after all those first moments of experiencing your first kiss or your first time driving or your first time making a team or your first time giving a school speech etc. those moments are essentially you experiencing life.

Awkward is a funny feeling. Feeling funny is awkward. Over and out.